FUNNY JOKES

 FUNNY JOKES

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are

some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach

her

child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of

yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why

grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a

business trip so he went to the destination first and his

wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife

a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a

letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly

preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only

the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took

one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and

fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw

this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival

tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his

luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the

lost luggage office and told the woman there that his

bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they

were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for

watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was

under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the

problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the

road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar

Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the

boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond

the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket

at his feet full of change.

Mouthology:

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he

asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography,

physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will

die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked

the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology

from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your

assology, headology & you will dieology because of

your mouthology.

Captain:

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is

a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a

sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys

don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the

pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate

ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me

my brown pants!”

Elephant:

The class teacher asks students to name an animal

that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a

“T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad

behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning

with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe

an elephant!”

By Stephen
      http://academictips.org/blogs/funny-short-stories/